Archive for December, 2009

Christmas In The City

Posted in POSTS with tags , , on December 25, 2009 by cuzinmank

So after writing the previous blog I became inspired and desired some adventure! I headed out with my new camera and a finely rolled dandy ready for some action! Short lived inspiration as I began to hit old man syndrome and looked at the time and realized it was already 1030 and it was Christmas Eve and I should stay home, but I head out anyways. I drove around a bit looking for a good spot in town, avoiding my original idea of a photo opp up on Fish Ranch Road. Only to delay the inevitable, I gave up almost immediately on staying in town and headed to Concord. Picked up Alicia, all bundled and cute, we crept a little further outta town still shying away from Fish Ranch. We attempted an overhead shot of the traffic over 24 East in Lafayette, but not enough light and well to be honest the scenery was whatev. On top of all that I was paranoid and scared of heights even with the chain link fence. That blasted fence also prevented any potential photos. Not knowing what to do or where to go wondering if I should just head home, I began to just drive and ended up the wrong direction on freeway to be going home so we went with it. Alicia said “Maybe it was supposed to happen,” I agreed it might be meant to be. So onward we headed! Without any effort we were on top of Grizzly Peak overlooking Oakland and San Francisco Bay. Amazing and beautiful, but nothing too magnificent captured from the camera. I looked at the time acting old again and Alicia mentioned being so close to city we might as well…
We continued moving toward San Francisco and I asked Alicia if she had any money for the bridge as our new destination would cost us a ride on the bridge. She found a fresh, crisp $5 in which she had no idea where or how she got it. By this time midnight had passed it was officially Christmas! As we approached the toll, and I attempt to hand the man the money and to my amazement and confusion, he doesn’t take the money and begins talking. This is odd immediately to me as these toll masters never say shit so I think something is wrong with my money or something. To my surprise, he points ahead and says, “They paid for you,” gesturing to the car ahead who I have no idea who they are and had no interaction with. This simple act of kindness on this odd and strange Christmas Eve, now officially Christmas at this time, sealed the deal for the trip was officially meant to happen and be something amazing! We both got new life and energy as this moment so crazy as this must mean something, and was a worthy trip no matter the results of the photos. We drove half way across the bridge to our new destination, Treasure Island, in hopes of capturing something marvelous. I remembered from the festival we attended this place having some pretty good views of the city and the Bay Bridge. When we arrived we saw exactly what we had came for.

View From The Island

Regardless of any photos or pictures, I just felt the need to get out and do something for myself. I had nothing going on and I wanted some adventure, so we hit the streets. I had a wonderful time and I’m ready for Christmas. Goodnight.


Merry Christmas

Posted in POSTS with tags , , , on December 25, 2009 by cuzinmank

Rejoice! I made it through another retail holiday with all my marbles in tact. As I was driving home on this Christmas Eve, I realized everything visually seemed like Christmas Eve, but nothing else. The lights, the packages , the crowds the weather, all Christmas, but inside myself the feeling of Christmas was vacant. The spirit and the magic of Christmas Eve as I once knew and loved it to be was not there. No excitement for anticipating the next day or even the excitement of what could happen that very night! Most importantly, no family celebration. Now tomorrow for the actual Christmas Day, I’ll be joined by both loved ones and friends but this night used to be almost just as special to me. So to not do this and just sit around like its not Christmas Eve just feels horribly wrong. I feel like I used to live this perfect life I wouldn’t trade for anything, I’d definitely trade it all now to be able to go back to then. You really don’t realize how good or special something is until its ripped from you forever with no explanation, rhyme or reason. You’re just left to try to figure out what the fuck your supposed to do to maintain and keep sane. It becomes even more challenging around holidays or special times of the year then just managing regular days. Shit sucks but I’m not here to complain. I’m here to remind you all once again not to take anything in your life for granted and cherish what you have. This holiday along with many others has been corrupted and turned evil by the idea of expecting gifts and spending rediculous amounts of money and time for the newest toy. Yes I know it tough when these toys will bring our kids/friends/family so much joy and happiness and that IS what its all about, but I think we have gotten a little out of control. People still need to realize at the end of the day Christmas is not about getting things from people because you assume its expected. I know Im 100% guilty of this but I have a new perspective and look on the world these days. As real as Santa is or not, even HE could not deliver the one gift I could ask for. So remember tomorrow when you don’t get everything you may have asked for, remember the faces and the people who even give you anything and cherish the times you have with them. This is not a sad message its just the truth. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine when my people will be around me tomorrow making my Christmas Feeling once again refilled. Until tomorrow I have my parents, my girl, my doggie and my Music.  To all the people I wont see tomorrow, I wish the best to you and hope to see you sooner then Coachella =). Merry Christmas World.

Sell Yourself On Front Street

Posted in POSTS with tags , , , , on December 17, 2009 by cuzinmank

This is simple. This post is to whore me out it a little and put myself on blast. Normally I would feel reserved and timid, concealing what there is, BE it a song or story, in hopes of making it better or  more official. Nothing is wrong with a little critique or modification for improvement, its just I am a person who will never commit and finalize a piece so I end up with nothing. Instead of being over critical and “safe,” I’ve decided to say fuck it and let it all hang out.  Have this for what it is and see what happens next. Nobody knows whats gonna happen, but I do know If I don’t do anything NOTHING will happen for sure. So instead of sitting around NOT doing something, take this for what it is. With perfection and a “standard” I’ve created and built up inside myself, its led to a block from myself to create and express clearly as I’ve made myself extremely too self conscious. I’ve sat on ideas or songs solely because I wanted to wait until the ultimate song or story was created in all its glory before exposing myself to the world or well to anyone. I’ve realized to only way to even try achieve anything worth while or even “great” you MUST DO IT! “Shoot from the hip!”

So here we are, I’ve blogged about whatever I’ve wanted to say, still trying to maintain some kind of entertaining idea or enlightening thought. I have been posting videos from concerts and festivals over the past couple years on YouTube. Recently I’ve made my music page on Myspace a little more known but still not totally on blast. I have mixed feelings about it for different reasons, one being how good I feel the song are. I know I”ll never be totally satisfied with anything I do. Writing, song creating or deciding on what to wear. Until I actually do it I’m a wreck trying to decide what will be the greatest outcome. Whatever I decide, it usually is an amazing choice and I’m happy to have done it. Posting the music out there, I felt I should just throw it out there and take criticism and critique as it comes. Talk me some shit or tell me its dope, I just want the truth. Please don’t ever label me, because I don’t and won’t only make one kind of music….

Newest venture hobby that I’ve recently taken a little more seriously is photography. I’ve always like taking pictures, having pictures, capturing moments and having them to reminisce with. I enjoy taking pictures of all the wonderful festivals and concerts I attend also. Talk about moments to remember and amazing scenery! Don’t forget the bands and the “HOW THE FUCK IS GOING ON” moments from all their intense light shows and stage presence. Yes I love to capture these times while letting my senses run wild. Often becomes distracting, but its all worth it back at camp having those images and videos to remind yourself what the fuck you just did and can you believe that really just happened!? Ah I can’t not think about Coachella…Tickets purchased and ready for takeoff. I don’t even know who’s playing, but we all have some pretty good ideas =)

On to the whoring…..

So here’s my sites…love em, like em, hate em.
To be updated at any given time.

Improvements are inevitable, as I wont regress…





Posted in POSTS with tags , , , , on December 14, 2009 by cuzinmank

With all the stir in the air about our favorite fest, first confirmation of the year is the dates! Also some new interesting news about Car Camping and In and Out privledges! Here’s the official scoop from Email newsletter:

Hi Guys, Are you ready to talk Coachella 2010? We are officially confirming next years dates – April 16, 17 & 18, 2010. That’s not all, we’ve also decided to put some advance tickets up for sale through our layaway program. If you head over to you’ll notice you now have the choice to find out about the 2010 layaway program or head back to the current 2009 website. The layaway page is where it’s at! There you will learn about the brand new camping options including RV camping and Car camping. Also new for 2010, all festival goers will be allowed “in & out” privileges. More details will be available when the 2010 website launches so stay tuned.

Yep well its officially the season of Coachella! Let the rumors continue to fly and artist confirmations begin!

You Know Shits Gone Weird When I Have a PG&E Account

Posted in POSTS with tags , , on December 4, 2009 by cuzinmank

I have drafts upon drafts of started and incomplete stories, times, tales and ideas. None of these have yet to be completed because my head often feels it will explode with all the stuff I want to say about it, which then becomes something else of its own and now I’m constructing two rediculous ideas while trying to express them in full detail while thoughts are spiraling out of control! So I’m here to rant, do a little rambling and maybe and say whats up.

First let me say we are definitely in a new wave of times as I now have my name with PG&E. I must be a grownup because I even qualified to have my deposit waived because my credit was worthy. Score, paying all those Sprint bills on time pays off. I think being approved for a home qualifies too. Oh did I forget to mention that? I own a house now too. FUCKING CRAZY. Words cannot describe and I don’t even really have any emotion for it yet because I’m not there, my stuff isn’t there and I am NOT looking forward to doing the boring parts. Once we are able to unload our stuff and put items where they belong, things will be official. To have my musical domain fully operational 100% of the time is going to be amazing. But we still have to pack, and clean and yeah lets go elsewhere…

So last night I officially figured out I NEED a DSLR camera to produce the material I want to achieve. Side by side I was shown countless comparisons of how my camera could not achieve the quality of the DSLR in comparison. Some might say no shit it would be better but I needed that first hand experience and I am convinced. DLSR IS A MUST
Anyone wanna donate to my BUY ME A DSLR CAMERA FUND? if interested ill shoot you me email address for paypal =)

So yeah had a real good time with the homies, a much needed romp around the greasy streets of San Francisco. Greasy in a good way as we were in the heart of the meatball and everything garlic! Northbeach district in “Little Italy” as some call it. Yes James needed the shots for a project and his camera more then delivered results, but his memory card failed him. The matter is being addressed and action is in place for a full redo!

I am itching to get a new camera  that has the ability to take those full detailed low artificial light beauties James’ camera produced. Unlike mine that were full of sand and grain =(. We tried all different settings, attempts and adjustments, but the camera couldn’t produce in those conditions. These conditions are crucial for what I need a camera to be able to do, so a new one is in order!  (Again ask for that paypal address if you wanna help!) I’ll probably clean some up in photoshop and see what its magical powers can work over on these sandy pictures.

Alright world until next time. I better hit send before I think I can make this “better” and never actually complete it.