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Merry Christmas

Posted in POSTS with tags , , , on December 25, 2009 by cuzinmank

Rejoice! I made it through another retail holiday with all my marbles in tact. As I was driving home on this Christmas Eve, I realized everything visually seemed like Christmas Eve, but nothing else. The lights, the packages , the crowds the weather, all Christmas, but inside myself the feeling of Christmas was vacant. The spirit and the magic of Christmas Eve as I once knew and loved it to be was not there. No excitement for anticipating the next day or even the excitement of what could happen that very night! Most importantly, no family celebration. Now tomorrow for the actual Christmas Day, I’ll be joined by both loved ones and friends but this night used to be almost just as special to me. So to not do this and just sit around like its not Christmas Eve just feels horribly wrong. I feel like I used to live this perfect life I wouldn’t trade for anything, I’d definitely trade it all now to be able to go back to then. You really don’t realize how good or special something is until its ripped from you forever with no explanation, rhyme or reason. You’re just left to try to figure out what the fuck your supposed to do to maintain and keep sane. It becomes even more challenging around holidays or special times of the year then just managing regular days. Shit sucks but I’m not here to complain. I’m here to remind you all once again not to take anything in your life for granted and cherish what you have. This holiday along with many others has been corrupted and turned evil by the idea of expecting gifts and spending rediculous amounts of money and time for the newest toy. Yes I know it tough when these toys will bring our kids/friends/family so much joy and happiness and that IS what its all about, but I think we have gotten a little out of control. People still need to realize at the end of the day Christmas is not about getting things from people because you assume its expected. I know Im 100% guilty of this but I have a new perspective and look on the world these days. As real as Santa is or not, even HE could not deliver the one gift I could ask for. So remember tomorrow when you don’t get everything you may have asked for, remember the faces and the people who even give you anything and cherish the times you have with them. This is not a sad message its just the truth. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine when my people will be around me tomorrow making my Christmas Feeling once again refilled. Until tomorrow I have my parents, my girl, my doggie and my Music.  To all the people I wont see tomorrow, I wish the best to you and hope to see you sooner then Coachella =). Merry Christmas World.


You Know Shits Gone Weird When I Have a PG&E Account

Posted in POSTS with tags , , on December 4, 2009 by cuzinmank

I have drafts upon drafts of started and incomplete stories, times, tales and ideas. None of these have yet to be completed because my head often feels it will explode with all the stuff I want to say about it, which then becomes something else of its own and now I’m constructing two rediculous ideas while trying to express them in full detail while thoughts are spiraling out of control! So I’m here to rant, do a little rambling and maybe and say whats up.

First let me say we are definitely in a new wave of times as I now have my name with PG&E. I must be a grownup because I even qualified to have my deposit waived because my credit was worthy. Score, paying all those Sprint bills on time pays off. I think being approved for a home qualifies too. Oh did I forget to mention that? I own a house now too. FUCKING CRAZY. Words cannot describe and I don’t even really have any emotion for it yet because I’m not there, my stuff isn’t there and I am NOT looking forward to doing the boring parts. Once we are able to unload our stuff and put items where they belong, things will be official. To have my musical domain fully operational 100% of the time is going to be amazing. But we still have to pack, and clean and yeah lets go elsewhere…

So last night I officially figured out I NEED a DSLR camera to produce the material I want to achieve. Side by side I was shown countless comparisons of how my camera could not achieve the quality of the DSLR in comparison. Some might say no shit it would be better but I needed that first hand experience and I am convinced. DLSR IS A MUST
Anyone wanna donate to my BUY ME A DSLR CAMERA FUND? if interested ill shoot you me email address for paypal =)

So yeah had a real good time with the homies, a much needed romp around the greasy streets of San Francisco. Greasy in a good way as we were in the heart of the meatball and everything garlic! Northbeach district in “Little Italy” as some call it. Yes James needed the shots for a project and his camera more then delivered results, but his memory card failed him. The matter is being addressed and action is in place for a full redo!

I am itching to get a new camera  that has the ability to take those full detailed low artificial light beauties James’ camera produced. Unlike mine that were full of sand and grain =(. We tried all different settings, attempts and adjustments, but the camera couldn’t produce in those conditions. These conditions are crucial for what I need a camera to be able to do, so a new one is in order!  (Again ask for that paypal address if you wanna help!) I’ll probably clean some up in photoshop and see what its magical powers can work over on these sandy pictures.

Alright world until next time. I better hit send before I think I can make this “better” and never actually complete it.